Logs:Ruby's Diner Mayhem

From Megaman Mush Wiki

WHO: Daryn, Tamako Shiraizuki, Kalinka, Meddy, Skull Man, Zero, Jack Krauser, Crazy Old Man
WHAT: Daryn and Tamako go to have dinner at Ruby's and lots of other people show up.
WHERE: Ruby's Diner
WHEN: August 13, 2008

Daryn is... NOT DRUNK. However, he got annihilator hadokened recently so he's still on a whole lot of painkillers so he's kind of out of it. Nevertheless, he chose to eat at Ruby's Diner!

"Oh god, Robot Masters." A waitress says, snapping her fingers in a Z shape for no apparent reason.

"Ugh." Daryn says, wobbling into the Diner. "Wow..." He says, "...This is Ruby's!"

He sits down on a table and looks at the lights as if they were very fascinating.

Did it just get a little bit a lot trashier in here?!

Well, yes, maybe, is the answer. Meddy and Kalinka surge inward like a gale-force wind of tight dresses and altered mindstates, having just attempted to drink under the table every party in New York that they could possibly blag an invite to -- because how cool is a party when you can just walk right in, famous or no? "I'm staaarviiing," the Princess whines, dressed in a black microdress and electric-pink fur coat, with her huge fuzzy boots and adorable ushanka matching. "I want to... I want to eat a hot dog," she states, without much certainty in her voice. "Or is this one of those places where you can only get tacos, I forget..."

Tamako has been given the unfortunate job of escorting Daryn to try to keep him out of trouble. Well, the keep him out of trouble was more of a suggestion that was made with great sympathy to Tamako's position. Still, she is coherent, though also not completely 100% physically. While she was not hadokened, she speared recently.

The lights of the dinner do not both Tamako though she rolls her eyes at the waitress and says, "Hey, not all of us are Robot Masters."

Outside, wheels scrape the pavement. Within moments, someone is crashing through the window, and from the loud 'YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES' and the general skull-with-trucker-cap shape of hyis head, it pretty much looks like Skull Man.

He grabs the nose of his board, exectues a perfeect Japan Air-to-Indy-Stalefish, and then lands on a table, shattering the sugar shaker. Napkins fly everywhere as the ketchup explodes, red confetti showering the dining room.

Stretched over Skull Man's robot torso is a red t-shirt which reads RUBY'Z DINER: WAS LESS FAGGTY THAN QUARTZ CAFE. EAT THERE, FATTY'.

Skull Man performs as perfect manual (staying in place!) as he speaks. "Where's the god damn manager? I want my hot dog and thirteen dollars."

"S'diner," Meddy interjects so swiftly as to be nearly monosyllabic. Though, through the wonders of future science, she is not currently a robot but a drunk robot. Nevertheless, being taller and bigger than Kalinka, the nurse is the one being leaned on rather than the other way around. She does her very best to steady the Russian girl, but her little purple dress (and matching shoes she stole from Alia) is making her paranoid, so much of her time is spent fussing with the hem and the neckline.

"I... uhm, I think we can get any kind of food here," Meddy giggles for absolutely no reason, broken glass flying past her face and getting in her hair. She absently brushes it out without looking at Skull Man. "New York food, 'cause we're in New York. Right?"

Daryn says, "Hi Skull Man," as glass embeds itself into the back of his head. He doesn't seem to mind the glass so much though. It almost tickles. "It's true, it's true, we're not all Robot Masters. Some of us are....uh..." Daryn spins his hand around.

"Well what will you have?" The waitress says, gesturing to Kalinka to indicate someone should fetch her a hot dog.

Tamako ducks out of the way of the glass that comes shattering in. That is not a good sign. Soon police or something will show up. This is why she views herself as staunchly not a Robot Master. Grave, while closely related, is not the same. Looking at Daryn's head, she quickly gets some napkins and makes a temporary bandage to prevent people from cutting themselves on his head and to help stop the bleeding. She does not take the shards out though because that would be bad first-aid.

Looking at the waitress she says, "I will have a burger and fries, thank you."

"I want, I want, I want, I want a hot dog, wait, wait no no no I want four hot dogs, four hot dogs with extra relish and extra ketchup and mustard and can you put chopped-up bacon on a hot dog because I want that too and I want three orders of fries and a hamburger an a cheeseburger and a baconator and a steak and cheese and another thing of fries and onion rings and a soda um a lemon-lime one if you have it." Kalinka groans, leaning against Meddy. "I haven't eaten in three /days/ I am so /starving/ but I'm going to be such a /bloated pig/ when I even /look at any of it/ Meddy why is eating so awful and hey Skull Man when did you get here?"

"I'll have my god damn thirteen dollars. Oh, but interest. Thirteen fifty. You just ate that fifty cents, you dumbass," Skull Man tells the waitress as he does a sick boneless onto the floot. He tucks his skate under one arm, "and a hot dog."

He regards Daryn, "Hey, man. I like the glass look. Did you know that shit's made out of sand? Weird, huh? Makes you think." He spots Kalinka, drops his board and haphazardly skates over to her, knocking a fat man's Future Pepsi off of the his table. Quickly, he does a handplant and addresses Kalinka and Meddy as he balances on one hand, "This place is so lame. Have they ever heard of service? Whoa, you guys look drunk as shit. I'm going to join you as soon as I get my hot dog. This place is fboner city, man. And not in a good way. Hey, want to see what happens when I hit the salad bar with a Skull Barrier?"

Meddy quietly, dutifully tugs Kalinka towards a booth. Incidentally, it is the booth right next to wear Daryn and Tamako are sitting because they could use a little spice in their boring, boring lives. She bobs her head wordlessly at Kalinka's commands, eventually guiding her hands to the table so she can steady herself while the nurse slips into the seat first. Ms. Princess gets to sit on the outside because she pukes far more often than Meddy, who is a robot.

Pulling Kalinka into the booth to sit with her, the Chinese girl pats her reassuringly on the shoulder, "It's okay Kali, we can go running until you throw up tomorrow so it all cancels out, I'll still like you. Look, a skeleton is hitting on you."

TROUBLE WITH RM PLZ STOP BY

The simple text message from one of the waitresses at Ruby's is enough to pull Zero from his work at ZeroWorld (which may or may not have been actual work at all) in order to ensure that his usual hang-out place is safe. While some Hunters have debated that the best thing Zero could do was move his hang out to somewhere more secure... But it's too late now. People will cause trouble here as a hate crime against Zero whether he eats there this month or not. And sometimes, people just end up being violent there for the hell of it.

Regardless of the reasons why or if it's best, Zero opens the door to the Diner, dressed in his usual armor. If things are quiet, he'll just have a root beer float, a hot dog, and if he's lucky, some decent conversation about current events. If not, well, the Hunter XO is always willing to maul people in the name of a nice burger joint. The blue eyes scan over the mess made by Skull Man's entrance. While he isn't amused, he's willing to let it slide if the staff here are. After all, as long as people pay for what they break around here, the restaurant doesn't usually mind. It's when there is malicious intent that they become unhappy. Of course, as he hears the mention of the salad bar possibly being in danger, the berserker's eyes narrow faintly toward Skull Man. For the time being, Zero is perfectly silent as he stands in the entrance.

"Skull Maaan come siiit with usss," Kalinka blurts. "Also I want a quesadilla." In her thick Eastern Bloc accent it is pronounced kwes-UH-dil-LUH and sound unappetizing.

Daryn says, "Yeah I learned that in elementary school." He looks at Skull Man for a good long while. He gives him a vague nod before adding, "I'm sorta on painkillers man so if I start talking about...dwarves..." His eyes squint for a long while.

He widens his eyes again a moment later before turning his head around--someone is bandaging his head?! Tamako?!

"Oh hey Tamako. I'll have Burger and fries too."

He throws a wave at Zero. So far, Daryn hasn't broken anything.

Tamako shakes her head with disappointment at Skull Man's antics. The threatening of destroying the salad bar will not go over well, and as if on cue the door opens and closes again. Turning, Tamako sees Zero and mentally says a very long string of profanity in several different languages. Motioning to Zero she then points to Skull Man and mouths, "WE. ARE. NOT. WITH. HIM."

She simply sighs as it seems that Daryn had had already forgotten that she was here.

As planned, Skull Man sits down across from Kalinka. He sets his board down neatly, like a baby with wheels, next to him. He frowns at Meddy, and adjusts the bill of his hat, so she can see that the underside says 'TWO SKULLS AND A PACK MULE. "Hitting on Kalinka Cossack? No way, that is just gross. Doc Cossack is like my dad, so she's like my sister. Plus, do you know where she's been? I think she's had parts of Dock Torr Leonard Regal inside of her. I mean, no thanks. No offense, Kalinka Cossack. You're still my girl-bro!"

Then there is Zero. Who's looking at him. Skull Man swivels his hat so the bill points backwards. "What are you looking at, hippie? Lookin' at the window behind me, trying to see how your hair looks? Well it looks like girl hair. girl hippie hair. Plus that window's broken. So what are you looking at? Girl hippie."

Belatedly, to Daryn, "I once saw a Dwarf have sex with a one of those Sniper Joe guys. It was /awesome/."

"Just my hand," Kalinka shrugs at the comment re: Regal. "Also, I want... like, waffle fries, but with that soupy fake cheese stuff poured on them so they're like waffle fries covered in cheesy soup?"

Meddy puts her hands over Kalinka's ears so she can't hear these horrible things. It might make her do something rash, like try to be ironic by eating a live pig.

"Look, you shouldn't talk to Maverick Hunter Zero like that, he's so proud of his hair that one time he killed a guy over it and then they tried to take him to court but he didn't go because he's a Maverick Hunter but to tell you the truth I read this really cute fanfic once where Zero turned out to actually be a girl and had a really steamy love scene with Maverick Hunter Mega Man, ohmigawd, I think I saved it somewhere and anyway what I'm trying to say is that it'd be pretty hot if Zero actually was a girl hippy. Like, a clean hippy, like a poseur hippy that just wears messenger bags and plays the guitar."

Kalinka, with hands over her ears, attempts to lick Meddy's pinky finger, but is unsuccessful.

Meddy suddenly bursts out laughing and pushes Kalinka on the shoulder, removing her hands in the process. She stops laughing when she desperately tries to stop Kalinka from falling over.

The doors open. A hulking figure can be seen in the open portals, backlit dramatically. He looks to be tall-- at least 8', and with a ferociously hunched back. Strangely, his legs are normal human-sized. And he appears to be... dripping.

"You will cook this moose."

Jack Krauser, shirtless, covered in blood, carrying an entire dead moose on his shoulders, enters the diner. Bloody footprints mark his path up to the register, where he deposits the moose carcass with a thundering thud, much like a small earthquake. One bloody hand draws a wad of zenny from his belt pouch, and slams the sopping currency down on the counter. His eyes are hard, unyielding, as he looks straight at terrified cashier.

"You will accept this money and then you will cook this moose. And then I will eat this moose." Without turning, a red hand jabs towards Kalinka, spattering blood across the dining room. "When you remove the heart, serve it to this girl." A pregnant pause. "Raw."

"Why don't hideously muscled yet insane men ever try to shove meat into MY mouth?" Meddy wails.

A glance is given toward Tamako as she mouths out her disassociation. While Zero's lips are still in the neutral state between smile and frown, he does give her a simple nod of understanding. She seems to have a respect for the Diner. It shall be rewarded.

Moving toward the table where Kalinka, Meddy, and now Skull Man are seated. He catches the end of Meddy's words, just sighing. Times like this make Zero almost want to quit drinking. Almost.

Turning his attention away from the two girls to Skull Man, Zero begins his usual speech as he places his knuckles down on the table. "Normally, I would kick your ass just for existing. Hell, I'm tempted to right now. However, this is Ruby's. This is a nice place, where nice people work, so I tend to be more forgiving to the putzes . They just want to make a nice living here. However, when people come in breaking things and making trouble... I become unhappy. Now, you will pay for the damages you've inflicted here, be civil, or I'll be forced to go from Red to Black... And when that happens, I promise your night here will end swiftly and painfully. And I'll do my best to-" Zero pauses as he sees that someone else is appearing with a dead moose. His right hand lifts up to rubs his helmet. "It a full moon or something?"

Daryn blinks and looks up at shirtless Krauser carrying a dead moose and demanding that Kalinka eat a raw moose heart. He didn't forget Tamako, though his linguistic skills are perhaps deadened by the painkilling cocktail he's on. Needless to say, he spins around to look right at her.

"But we are with him." He jerks a thumb at Krauser, "Which... is probably worse, right?"

At Krauser, Skull Man looks super excited. "that is a God Damn /Moose/, Kalinka Cossack! And you're going to eat its heart! Hey, girl sitting next to Kalinka Cossack, will you take a picture of it so I can put it on my deck after the Gnar-Sickle breaks?" he says to Meddy, looking at the board beside him, "Shhhh, baby, Daddy won't let you break. He's just having an adult conversation."

Then Zero talks.

Skull Man frowns. "I thought we were done talking, Girl Hippie. Like, I dismissed you and everything. Fine."

Skull Man stands on the table. Just as that happen, a waitress brings him his hot dog and $13.50. He promptly squirts airplane glue on the hot dog and sniffs it. "Okay, buddy, pal. Girl Hippie. The manager, Paulie Chang-tron, paid me. It was a publicity stunt. And it worked! It got Moose Guy in here. I work at the ice rink all god damn day and you think you can just bust up my side-job. Fine, Girl Hippie. you're now /Fascist/ Girl Hippie. Cop. Pig. Girl. Hippie. Cop." He huffs the glue dog again.

Tamako blinks at Jack and probably feels the same way that Zero probably does. This is because they are probably the only patrons left in the diner who are not drunk, on painkillers, a Robot Master, or Krauser. Shooting a glance at Daryn she sighs and says, "Well, while Jack is a bit brutish at times, he has not broken anything." She then slumps down in her seat while giving Zero a very sypathetic look.

Skull Man blinks at Krauser, "That was so rad I think it gave Dr. Wily a super-boner back at his secret castle." Blink

Kalinka's food starts arriving in waves, filling up the tabletop swiftly. She pigs out, barely even chewing, just throwing hot dogs into her mouth, pouring extra salt on everything, and god it's such a mess. "Hey!" she says in between chomps. "Skull Man, my brother, this is my best friend for life, Meddy. I think because both of you have a lot of the same interests that you would officially make a cute couple." Kalinka points at Skull Man. "Skull Man, you like to inhale things and break other things and skate around a lot. Meddy, you like to grab my bottom in elevators and nurse people. This is a good plan and you two are now on a date." Kalinka then resumes eating anything in sight.

As Skull Man calls her 'girl sitting next to Kalinka', Meddy gets the most absolutely horrible expression on her face. Well, that's a lie, because she's a cold, perfect machine designed to look cute, so her angry is really ineffectual and probably has far-reaching implications concerning her ability to express herself. Still, she's pissed.

"MY NAME IS MEDDY," she shrieks, "I'M FAMOUS! FAMOUS FOR HAVING HUGE-- oh, food's here." The nurse lets go of her breasts and sneaks a french fry from one of the plates, giving Kalinka an incredulous look. "Ohmigawd, eww. I'm not dating Skull Man, he needs to bag his face."

"Shut up you told me you thought /Aqua Man/ is cute," Kalinka replies through a mouthful of baconator.

"Like plushie toy you have on your shelf to trick guys into thinking you're inexperienced cute, duh," Meddy replies, grabbing another fry.

"Hi Meddy." Daryn says.

Meddy jerks backwards in her seat suddenly, "Oh shit it's Daryn!"

Jack Krauser sneers. His teeth are shockingly white in the gore-caked face. "/Dates/. This is no time for /dates/. You must all eat moose now and become strong." His eyes narrow ever so slightly. "There is so much to do. And you must all be strong enough to do these things. And strength comes from the moose."

The eternal soldier stalks away from the cashier, who is struggling to lift the moose carcass with the help of 3 or 4 line chefs and servers. Krauser stops, on the opposite side of the table from Zero, and towers. And drips. Then, suddenly, he whips a knife out of a thigh sheathe, holding it up to the light. "This is the knife with which I took that moose's life. Do not talk to me about 'plushies' and 'dates' and 'bosoms'. Your gender should not get in the way of your duty to the world!"

Jack flips the knife around, holdingi t by the blade, and proffers it to Kalinka. "Get that processed grease bag out of your face. Take this knife." He gestures with his head at Daryn and Meddy. "Kill them." Then, to the two in question: "Defend yourselves. You are all too idle. This battle to the death will determine who I take with me on the next mission."

Daryn's response gets a snort from the bish, not even looking back to him to give a response. "If there was a contract between you and the store, then you will be paid the difference once they take out the damages you've inflicted here. This is not open for discussion. If you have a problem with it, you can speak with my manager." Glancing back toward Jack, he has only one thing to say to him: "No shirt, no shoes, no service." As he is subjected to the conversation between Meddy and Kalinka. It makes the conversations of Crash and Guts seem like Masterpiece Theater in comparison. Almost wishing he had the Wilycode in him still (so he could use it as an excuse to flip out and kill everyone who's annoying him), Zero just keeps looking toward Jack, the small smile turning from a poor attempt of civility to a grin, twisted dramatically but the strength of will needed to maintain it.

"Whoa, Kalinka Cossack if Girl Beat heard what you were saying just now---" he is interrupted by Meddy screaming her own name. "Oh, and like your own robot face is so hot? Like you get to be choosy? Man, I know you're not choosy. Just be thankful you're not on a date with some queer with a man-purse full of sycthes and poetry. Be thankful you're on a date with a dude who can do," he grabs his board, 360-kickflips, lands next to Zero, handplant, manual to another handplant, ollie, fakie-boneless, ollie, in the air he yells "FRANKIE GOES TO OLLIEWOOD!" in Zero's ear-receptor, then lands on the table again.

"That." He looks at Meddy and huffs some more glue. "I know you're the kind of girl that digs that shit."

Regarding Jack, "hand me some damn moose, whitey. Let's do this." Sniiiff.

Tamako receives her food and pays the waitress with a 100% tip. It seems only fair with what the waitress has to put up with. Tamako then waves to Meddy before turning to Daryn saying, "Do you think your friends can take care of you? I may have business that needs attending. At the other side of the diner."

"Oh shit it's Meddy!" Daryn's eyes widen.

He lowers his head and looks towards Kalinka, and the knife, and then to Jack Krauser, then to Skull Man.

"Nobody's whiter than you Skull Man." He says, "Because you're Skull Man. Your head is a skull." He looks back to Tamako and adds, "Should be okay. Uh, sorry this is so weird. It is weird, right? It's not the drugs. Because I think I just saw Krauser telling Kalinka to kill me with a knife because I'm not doing anything."

Tamako Shiraizuki gently pats Daryn's shoulder saying, "I am afraid that it is not the drugs. I wish they were because then I would not be seeing it, but oh well. If Kalinka does try to kill you, just yell and I will be there." She then picks up her food, walks by Zero and towards the entrance of the diner where she sits down to watch from a distance.

Kalinka stares at the knife. Some bacon is stuck to her lip. "You want me to... kill Daryn and what's-her-face?" Kalinka looks at the knife some more, then up at Krauser, then at the other table. "But... they're my friends, I think! Doesn't war make exemptions for friendship?!" After asking this, she discreetly (as in, not discreetly at all) stuffs some cheesy waffle fries into her mouth. While chewing (kind of): "Plus this is Meddy and Skull Man's first date and they are falling in love, they need to be able to tell their robot grandchildren that their first kiss was magical, not murderous!"

"This is stupid!" Meddy pouts, crossing her arms and sinking into the corner of the booth. Not even Skull Man's charming anti-Zero shennanigans can cheer her up. "I'm not dating a skeleton and my name is Meddy and I'm not having fun anymore."

"Fine," Kalinka says, sighing to Meddy. She passes the knife over. "/You/ go kill them if you're going to be a baby about it."

"I'm not a skeleton, I'm a robot. Don't be such a bitch. This is the first date. Wait til we're married and I cheat on you with Alia or Girl Hippie or something," Skull Man notes, "if you want to be a bitch."

"Kill him already, Girl Hippy!" the nurse shouts, taking the knife and waving it at Zero. "Or, like, do something! Jeez, taxpayer money at work here."

"Uh..." he looks at Zero, "No. Just no. I am on a classy date, I just got off work. Don't you have some robot tree to chain yourself to or isn't there some pony waiting to brush your hair? Don't harsh me, Girl Hippie."

<---Skull Man

"Okay." Daryn says, "Yeah," He looks somewhat mollified that this isn't his drugged up imagintion. "Awesome possum." He tries to close his eyes--but he cannot.

"War makes no exceptions. She is cold and merciless. She will destroy everything in her path to make way for the future." Jack Krauser switches his cold gaze to Daryn. "The future which is also war."

Jack Krauser crosses his burly arms over his burly chest. "No more games! This is for keeps. The next mission is vital, and I need to see that you have what it takes." He looks briefly at Skull Man's impressive aerial antics, and squints. "Or perhaps I should recruit SKULL MAN instead."

"I see." Daryn says, "The future is war and the future is now. Or the war is now because logically if A equals C and B equals C then--well actually, that doesn't mean that B equals A at all." He rubs his nose, "I'm confused."

"That is IT. Connie, open a window for me." Zero's words are firm and without emotion. The waitress swiftly opens one of the larger windows at the command of the Ruby regular. Without any more warning, Zero's hand goes for Skull Man's throat. Gripping it tightly, Zero yanks Skull Man from his seat. "When I tell you pay up or get the hell out, there is no option c!" With that, Zero's armor shifts from crimson to black, giving Zero the strength to go from high to overkill. Lifting the Robot Master off the ground like rag doll, Zero just pulls his arm back before just giving Skull Man a powerful toss out the window. Thankfully, Ruby's is outside the main city, so when the Hunter throws at a 45 degree angle, he gets nothing but air.

That done, Zero turns back toward everyone else, his armor still in its 'Bad Zero' form. "Anyone ELSE want to have a failure to communicate?"

Zero changes into his Black Zero armor.

Skull Man's board is still planted to his feet, and he is getting some /sick/ air as he's chokeslammed out the window.

Girl Beat appears just to scowl at Meddy. "preeep preeep preeep" she scolds, cigarette in mouth.

"Caaaall meeeeeeee--" Skull Man shouts as he's thrown to Kingdom Come.

Kalinka attempts to continue eating while standing up and getting in Zero's face. "Hey! That's my brother, sort of! And my father may not love him anymore which is probably the case because he damn sure doesn't seem to love me but that's no reason for you to just go throwing him around because someone appointed you Mister Big Shot Maverick Hunter! And you can go ahead and throw me out a window or do whatever but that doesn't change the fact that he was here finding /true love/ and you had to go and ruin it just because, what, you couldn't take a little crack about your ponytail? NEWS FLASH, ZERO, NO ONE LIKES PONYTAILS. Seriously have you /seen/ yourself? You look like you and Star Man should be forming some sort of pansexual glitter-rock club night. So maybe that's why you act so pissed off all the time, or maybe you just think it's cool, or maybe you're just out of your mind and have /anger issues/ but whatever the case is, you're RUINING -- MY -- FUN -- NIGHT -- OUT!" Kalinka stomps her booted feet, as the whirlwind of a Princess Tantrum commences.

About halfway through the screeching rant, Meddy grabs the back of Kalinka's dress and yanks her back into the booth, protectively hugging her away from Zero. She finishes her speech with a faceful of robot.

"Today I learned a valuable lesson." Daryn says, looking over to Kalinka, "And that lesson is that Zero threw Skull Man out a window."

"Save your learning for more useful lessons," Jack Krauser admonishes, looking stern. "Like how to clean and dress a stag."

"Mmfgmmmfffmph," Kalinka says, attempting to continue ranting as having the curve of Meddy's breast jammed into her face slowly lulls her into a peaceful state, like a little baby.

"This always helps when she's feeling upset," Meddy confides to Daryn.

Daryn nods, "It's psychological shit, mother stuff and all that. Very deep and crap."

Jack Krauser continues to look stern, because no one is fighting to the death.

Kalinka is actually just being suffocated.

Tamako Shiraizuki calmly eats her food while doing her best to ignore the insanity going on around her.

"She's turning a little blue," Daryn adds, perhaps figuring this will satisfy Jack's need for murder.

Meddy pulls Kalinka up by her shoulders, patting her on the cheek. "Do you feel better? Oh, she fell asleep."

Jack Krauser gives Meddy an appraising glance. "Ah, I see you are killing her. Very goo--" he stops mid-sentence, frowning again as Meddy fails to finish Kalinka off.

Kalinka takes a couple gross, snorty horse-breaths and sputters a bit before resuming normal breathing patterns. She does remain asleep, though.

"Crap." Daryn says, "There goes killing two birds with one breast."

Zero just turns back to see that Kalinka is yelling at him. He doesn't really respond as he gives her a 'why aren't you done yet' until Meddy does her thing. Bizarre, but strangely effective. Threats one and two handled, Zero resumes to the final one making trouble. He glances toward Jack, merely seeing what his reaction is. Hopefully, it will be some quiet so he can enjoy his beer and burger in peace. He figures he'd earned it.

Meddy gives Krauser a look that one generally does not give bloody axe murderers. "I'm not killing her! I am being a good girlfriend." Girlfriend can mean friend that is a girl. Yeah. Ahuh. "Besides, I have two of them, as per U.N. law."

[Radio: (A) Chat] Daryn transmits, "Hey Jack?"

[Radio: (A) Chat] Jack Krauser transmits, "Daryn."

[Radio: (A) Chat] Daryn transmits, "I dare you to burn Zero's face in cooking fat."

Tamako Shiraizuki takes out a pen and quickly starts jotting things down on a napkin. She then folds it up and puts it in her purse before continuing her eating.

"Which UN law is that?" Daryn asks, receiving his burger. He takes a bite into it, looking over to Tamako. Is she... writing down about thw two boob law?

Daryn gives Tamako a weird look.

Krauser returns Zero's look levelly. "This is... disappointing," he growls, just as a server comes out with a large platter. The moose heart is on it, with a sprig of parsley stuck into the left superior ventricle. The platter is put down before the snoring Kalinka, and Jack pulls out another knife, which he immediately stabs into the organ.

"Kalinka. Wake up. Eat this." His voice is flat. "It will make you strong. Strong enough to surpass your father."

"Wh what? Vile? Is that you?" Kalinka suddenly wakes up more fully with a start. She stares down at the moose heart, face taking on a bit of a greenish tint. Then she looks over at Meddy. Then at Krauser. Then at the heart. Then she says "/I'll show Daddy/" and digs right in.

"Are you sure it won't just give her blood disease?" Daryn asks of Krauser.

"I need my medical books to tell if this is sanitary or not," Meddy says dreamily, watching Kalinka eat a moose heart with her little tiny Russian mouth.

"This tastes a lot like (chomp mrph) the sort of stuff (smack mmfg) we would eat back in (agh um) Mama Russia," Kalinka observes.

"Excellent," Jack Krauser says, with a look of deep approval. "You will go far, Kalinka Cossack."

A platter of cooked moose meat also appears at the table, and Jack spears a slab with his knife, then takes a huge bite out of it. "This is the food that will help us change the world. Eat. Learn to love it."

[Radio: (A) Chat] Jack Krauser transmits, "That would be ill-advised at this juncture."

Not seeming to care if Krauser's dreams for the night are unfulfilled, Zero speaks to the man without a hint of pity or empathy. "If you want a battle of life and death, this is NOT the place to find it. If you want me to punch your face in, just give me your name and number and I'll get back to you when I have nothing better to do." With that, Zero's armor shifts back to red and gold, the Hunter figuring that with Skull Man gone that his favorite diner is safe. At least Daryn learned an important lesson. Or a semi-important lesson.

Tamako has also learned a lesson. Or at least come up with a small business strategy with which she can launch her own startup biotech company. She then finishes her meal, pleased that the sanity levels seem to be slowly rising again.

"I too will have moose!" Daryn declares, because he's starting to get jealous of Kalinka and her moose heart!

Waitresses come over provide Daryn with a plate of chocolate mousse.

Daryn takes a bite, "Wow, moose tastes more sqooshy than I thought it would." He admits quietly.

"Zero. You are a child who has been given a stuffed toy much larger than himself. A stuffed toy of a mighty dragon. You have hollowed out this stuffed toy and climbed inside. And now you think that you are the dragon." Jack Krauser delivers this assessment with a bored voice. "I have no interest in punching you or vice-versa."

"Wow," Daryn says, "That's a pretty wicked burn there, Zero. That's such a burn, I bet it was as hot as a volcano. Perhaps even a lolcano, dig?"

An old man says over the din of the diner, in an old-man voice, "There's no such thing as a lolcano, sonny!"

Meddy is asleep right now sorry.

"UNTRUE!" Daryn yells at the random old man! "And don't call me sonny I'm older than you!"

"That's not what your mom said last night!" The old man shouts back.

Tamako Shiraizuki blinks at the old man. That did not even make sense.

Daryn's eyes flash red, "My parents are dead!"

"I have no need to pretend who I am and I have even less need to prove myself to a man who has nothing better to do than forcing young women to eat the hearts of killed animals. Whatever your fetish is, I really am not interested in you trying to have it happen here."

Zero pauses as if to say something back to Daryn, but it seems like he's busy yelling at the old man.

"Oh, no!" The old man says gripping his chest as he stands up, "His parents are DEAAAAAAAAAD!" The old man says this as he walks out the door. The echo of 'eeeeaaaaaaad' can still be heard.

Tamako Shiraizuki finishes her meal and puts down an impressive tip on the table next to her platter for the waitstaff. It seems she feels that they deserve even more. There is also a check for the window that Skull Man broke. While she is not claiming responsibility for it, she knows how it is to have your stuff broken but people like that.

In short, she lapsed into sympathy. A clear sign she needs rest.

"Tamako, did I imagine that radnom crazy old man?" Daryn asks, finshing his burger and licking his fingers as he waddles over to her. "Didja finish your meeeeeal?"

"I have no fetish," Jack Krauser replies. And the statement is completely true. Jack Krauser is essentially asexual. "Kalinka Cossack is weak. She must be strong for what lies ahead. I am merely training her." He shakes his head. "The future is coming whether you want it or not. I would spend more time preparing for it and less time... drinking beer... if I were you."

Kalinka, meanwhile, is using the bun of one of her hamburgers to mop up excess moose blood.

Not impressed in the faintest, Zero just gives a "Heh" as he moves past Jack. "I've BEEN ready for it, Jack... I've dealt with hell before and I'll do it again." Dealing with Rock's death (and return) along with Wily's death (and return), has admittedly jaded the berserker on the subjects of love, war, and destiny. Thankfully, he doesn't have to worry about his beer. As long as it had the right brand name on the can, and people haven't mess with the inside, then a future will hold a nice import and some pretzels to go with it.

Tamako Shiraizuki sighs and shakes her head to Daryn, "No, you did not just imagine him, and yes I did finish my food. Perhaps we should get you back to Z so you can get some rest." She does not mention removing the glass from Daryn's head since he has probably forgotten and reminding him may send him into a panic.

To be fair, Daryn's wearing a helmet.

"Sure sure." Daryn says, waddling on out. Boy oh boy, tommorow he gets to be violent again~~!